Wednesday, April 30, 2008

How to spell Mississippi

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

Friday, April 25, 2008

The History of Phi Theta Kappa

Phi Theta Kappa was established by Missouri two-year college presidents in 1918, Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society serves to recognize and encourage the academic achievement of two-year college students and provide opportunities for individual growth and development through honors, leadership, and service programming. Today, Phi Theta Kappa is the largest honor society in America higher education with more than 1.3 million members and 1,100 chapters located in the United States, U.S. Territories, Canada, Germany, and Japan. In 1929, the American Association of Community Colleges recognized Phi Theta Kappa as the official honor society for two-year college.

Long Live Phi Theta Kappa!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Computer

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. “House” in French, is feminine -”la maison,” “Pencil” in French, is masculine “le crayon.” One puzzled student asked, “What gender is computer?” The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give three reasons for their recommendation. The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computer”). And there reasons were: The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it. The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine “le computer”) and there reasons were: They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.

Adam Air Joke

This is really funny

Adam Air Captain Speaking:

"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain speaking,
welcoming both seated and standing
passengers on board of Adam Air!

We apologize for the four-days delay
in taking off, it was due to bad
weather and some overtime I had to put
in at the bakery.

This is flight 717 to Yogyakarta.
Landing there is not guaranteed, but
we will end up somewhere in Central Java.
And, if luck is in our favor, we may
even be landing on your village!

Adam Air has an excellent safety-record.
In fact, our safety standards are so
high, that even terrorists are afraid
to fly with us!

It is with pleasure I announce that,
starting this year, over 30% of our
passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you,
on passenger request, we can arrange
to turn them off!

For our not-so-religious passengers,
we are the only airline who can help
you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's
in-flight movie will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television.
However, for our movie buffs, we will
be flying right next to Garuda Indonesia Airways,
where their movie will be visible from
the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane.
Any smoke you see in the cabin is only
the early warning system
on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks,
we try to fly as close as possible for the best view.
If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know.

Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes
flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an
upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt.

For those of you who can't find a seat-
belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.
And, for those of you who can't find a
seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
with a stewardess who will explain how
to fasten yourself to your suitcase.

Enjoy Adam Air!!"

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Language of Flowers


(rock-rose)

All flowers have a meaning. The Victorians used to use flowers as a symbol to express their feelings. Here is a simple list of some of those flowers meaning (from www.pioneerthinking.com).

A

  • Acacia - Secret love
  • Acanthus - Arts
  • Acorn - Nordic symbol of life and immortality
  • Aloe - Grief
  • Allspice - Compassion
  • Ambrosia - Love returned
  • Amaryllis - Pride; Timidity
  • Anemone - Unfading love
  • Angelica - Inspiration
  • Aniseed - Restoration of youth
  • Arbutis - Only love
  • Apple - Preference
  • Ash - Greatness
  • Aster - Love; daintiness
  • Azalea - Take care of yourself for me; fragile passion; Chinese symbol of womanhood

B

  • Bachelor Button - Celibacy
  • Balm - Joke
  • Baby's Breath - Everlasting Love
  • Barberry - Sourness
  • Basil - Best Wishes, Love
  • Bay Leaf - Strength
  • Begonia - Beware
  • Bells Of Ireland - Good luck
  • Bird Of Paradise - Magnificence
  • Bittersweet - Truth
  • Bluebell - Humility; constancy
  • Borage - Courage
  • Bouquet of withered flowers - Rejected love
  • Bryony - Support
  • Burnet - A merry heart
  • Buttercup - Cheerfulness

C

  • Cactus - Endurance; warmth
  • Calendula - Joy
  • Camellia - Admiration; perfection; good luck gift to a man
  • Candytuft - indifference
  • Carnation (in general) Bonds of affection; health and energy; fascination; woman love
  • Carnation (pink) - I'll never forget you
  • Carnation (purple) - Capriciousness; whimsical; changeable
  • Carnation (red) - My heart aches for you; admiration
  • Carnation (solid color) -Yes
  • Carnation (striped)- No; refusal; sorry I can't be with you; wish I could be with you
  • Carnation (white) -Sweet and lovely; innocence; pure love; woman's good luck gift
  • Carnation (yellow) - Rejection; disdain
  • Cattail - Peace; prosperity
  • Chamomile - Patience ; attracts wealth
  • Chrysanthemum (in general) - Cheerfulness; You're a wonderful friend
  • Chrysanthemum (red) - I love
  • Chrysanthemum (white) - Truth
  • Chrysanthemum (yellow) -Slighted love
  • Coreopsis - Always cheerful
  • Coriander - Lust
  • Cowslip - Pensiveness; winning grace
  • Crocus - Cheerfulness; abuse not
  • Cyclamen - Resignation and goodbye
  • Clover Good luck

D

  • Daffodil - Respect
  • Daisy - Innocence
  • Dandelion - Wishes come true

E

  • Eucalyptus - Protection

F

  • Fennel - Worthy of all praise
  • Fern - Sincerity
  • Forget-Me-Not - True love
  • Fern (Magic) - Fascination; confidence and shelter
  • Fern (Maidenhair) - Secret bond of love
  • Feverfew - Protection
  • Fir - Time
  • Flax - Domestic symbol; fate
  • Forget-me-not - True love; memories
  • Forsythia - Anticipation

G

  • Gardenia - You're lovely; secret love
  • Garland of roses - Reward of virtue
  • Garlic - Courage; strength
  • Geranium (Scented) - Preference
  • Gladiolus - Love at first sight
  • Grass - Submission; utility

H

  • Heather (lavender) - Admiration; solitude
  • Heather (white) - Protection; wishes will come true
  • Hibiscus - Delicate beauty
  • Holly - Good will, Defense;domestic Happiness; foresight
  • Honeysuckle - Generous and devoted affection
  • Hyacinth (general) - Games and sports; rashness;flower dedicated to Apollo
  • Hyacinth (blue) - Constancy
  • Hyacinth ( purple) - I'm sorry; please forgive me; sorrow
  • Hyacinth (red or pink) - Play
  • Hyacinth (white) - Loveliness; I'll pray for you
  • Hyacinth (yellow) - Jealousy
  • Hydrangea - Thank you for understanding; frigidity; heartlessness
  • Hyssop - Wards away evil spirits

I

  • Iris - Faith; hope; wisdom and valor
  • Ivy - Fidelity and friendship
  • Ivy - sprig of white tendrils - Anxious to please; affection

J

  • Jasmine - Amiability; attracts wealth
  • Jonquil - Love me; affection returned; desire; sympathy; desire for a return of affection
  • Juniper Protection
K
  • King's spear - Regret
L
  • Larkspur - pink - Fickleness
  • Lavender - Devotion
  • Lemon - Zest
  • Lemon Balm - Brings love
  • Lemon verbena - Attracts opposite sex
  • Lily (general) - Keeps unwanted visitors away
  • Lily (calia) - Beauty
  • Lily (day) - Coquetry
  • Lily (eucharis) - Maiden charms
  • Lily (orange) - Hatred
  • Lily (tiger) - Wealth; pride
  • Lily (white) - Virginity; purity; majesty; it's heavenly to be with you
  • Lily (yellow) - I'm walking on air; false and gay
  • Lily of the valley - sweetness; return to happiness; humility

M

  • Magnolia - Sweetness; beauty; love of nature
  • Marigold - Comforts the heart
  • Mint - Protection from illness; warmth of feeling
  • Marjoram (sweet) - Joy and happiness
  • Mistletoe - Kiss me; affection; to surmount difficulties; sacred plant of India
  • Monkshood - Beware, a deadly foe is near; chivalry
  • Moss - Maternal love; charity
  • Myrtle - Love; Hebrew emblem of marriage

N

  • Narcissus - Egotism; formality; stay as sweet as you are
  • Nasturtium - Conquest; victory in battle; maternal love; charity; patriotism

O

  • Oleander - Caution; beware
  • Orange Generosity
  • Orange Blossom - Brings wisdom
  • Orange Mock - Deceit
  • Orchid - Love; beauty; refinement; beautiful lady; Chinese symbol for many children
  • Orchid (cattleya) - Mature charm

P

  • Palm leaves - Victory and success
  • Pansy - Thoughts; love
  • Peach Longevity
  • Peony - Aphrodisiac
  • Petunia - Resentment; anger; your presence soothes me
  • Pine - Hope; pity
  • Poppy (general) - Eternal sleep ; oblivion; imagination
  • Poppy (red) -Pleasure; consolation
  • Poppy (white) - Consolation; sleep
  • Poppy( yellow) - Wealth; success
  • Prickly Pear - Satire
  • Primrose - I can't live without you; early youth
  • Primrose(evening) - Inconstancy

R

  • Rose (general)(Red) - Love ; I love you
  • Rose( white) - Eternal Love ; innocence; heavenly; secrecy and silence
  • Rose(pink) - Perfect happiness; please believe me
  • Rose(Yellow) - Friendship ; jealousy; try to care
  • Rose(Black) -Death
  • Rose(red and white) - Together; unity
  • Rose(thornless) - Love at first sight
  • Rose( single, full bloom) - I love you; I still love you
  • Rose bud - Beauty and youth ; a heart innocent of love
  • Rose bud(red) - Pure and lovely
  • Rose bud(white) - Girlhood
  • Rosebud (moss) - Confessions of love
  • Roses(Bouquet of full bloom) - Gratitude
  • Roses( Garland or crown of) - Beware of virtue; reward of merit; crown ; symbol of superior merit
  • Roses ( musk cluster) - Charming
  • Rose(tea) - I'll always remember
  • Rose(cabbage) - Ambassador of love
  • Rose(Christmas) - Tranquilize my anxiety; anxiety
  • Rose(damask) - Brilliant complexion
  • Rose(dark crimson) - Mourning
  • Rose(hibiscus) - Delicate beauty
  • Rose leaf - You may hope
  • Rosemary - Remembrance

S

  • Sage Wisdom - long life
  • Salvia -(blue) I think of you
  • Smilax - Loveliness
  • Snapdragon - Deception; gracious lady; presumption
  • Spiderflower - Elope with me
  • Stephanotis - Happiness in marriage; desire to travel
  • Stock - Lasting beauty
  • Strawberry - Perfect goodness
  • Sunflower - Loyalty; wishes
  • Sweetpea - Goodbye; departure; blissful pleasure; Thank you for a lovely time

T

  • Thyme - Strength and courage; ensures restful sleep
  • Tulip(general) - Fame,charity; perfect lover
  • Tulip(red) - Believe me; declaration of love
  • Tulip(variegated) - Beautiful eyes
  • Tulip(yellow) - Hopeless love

V

  • Violet - Modesty; calms tempers; induces sleep
  • Violet(blue) - Watchfulness; faithfulness; I'll always be true
  • Violet(white) - Let's take a chance on happiness
  • Viscaria - Will you dance with me?

W

  • Woodruff - sweet humility

Y

  • Yarrow - Health,healing
  • Yew - Sadness

Z

  • Zephyranth - Fond careness
  • Zinnia - Thoughts of friends
  • Zinnia(magenta) - Lasting affection
  • Zinnia(mixed) - Thinking of an absent friend
  • Zinnia(scarlet) - Constancy
  • Zinnia(white) - Goodness
  • Zinnia(yellow) - Daily remembrance

Accident in the freeway

Hello everybody, this is a story for everyone who loved to drive without using seat belt.

On April 12, 4 people were killed in crash on freeway (jalan tol) 60. Three of them were tossed out of the car because they didn't use any seat belt, and all three of them died in the place. While, one of them, the driver, was also using a seat belt and wasn't thrown out of the car, but later on he too died. Walaupun akhirnya si driver died, tapi waktu itu dia yang punya chance paling besar untuk selamat karna dia nda talempar out of the car.
Banyak orang yang kase alasan2 supaya nda usah pake seat belt, contoh:
  1. "I'm afraid the belt will trap me in the car." Statistically, the best place to be during an accident is in your car. If you're thrown out of the car, you're 25 times more likely to die. And if you need to get out of the car in a hurry - as in the extremely tiny percent of accidents involving fire or submergence - you can get out a lot faster if you haven't been knocked unconscious inside your car.
  2. "I won't be in an accident: I'm a good driver." Your good driving record will certaily help you avoid accidents. But even if you're a good driver, a bad driver may still hit you.
  3. "Oh, kita nda m bajalang jauh2 kua, paling cuman k mall." Hasil penelitian, malahan 80% of car accidents occur within 25 miles (kira2 40 km) dari rumah.
("Seat belts: Why you should use them, Oklahoma state university)

Jadi teman2, kalo lengkali m bawa oto kong malas pake seat belt, jangan lupa inga yang mana kalo nda pake seat belt, kong sampe kecelakaan, kemungkinan for orang yang nda pake seat belt mo mengalami luka yang fatal jauh lebih tinggi daripada orang yang ada pake seat belt.
Lagian, m pake itu seat belt kua nda sampe 1 menit le, so begitu nae di oto, langsung pake itu seat belt. After all, lebe bae mencegah daripada mengobati.

:)